Preface

AnteChurch
confession
of a young
theologian

J.D.M. Jinno

This work is dedicated to my son: E.Y.A.J.
“Thus far the Lord has helped me to be a righteous man, and I will exalt Him.”

Thanks to R.G. for being such an unbiased teacher, and for teaching me that “All good theology comes from pastoral concern.”
and to T.H. who’s enthusiasm is an inspiration.

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Many of the scripture quotations contained herein are recalled from memory, but generally they resemble the NIV.
 

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AnteChurch
confession 

of a young
theologian
 

Preface

והגיון לבי לפניך יהוה צורי וגאלי׃

"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh LORD, my rock and my redeemer."

The age of majority does not make a man, anymore than books make a scholar. It takes the constant crisis of challenged assumptions, and a realization of finitude to create the groundwork for the proper training that a man must receive if he is to reach his potential. It also however takes a character that is grounded in the courage of conviction, and the strength to make decisions.

            Some of us are more stubborn than others when it comes to the challenge of our assumptions. Many people like me have found themselves confusing assumptions for conviction, which can lead to an air of infallibility. The wiser among us can realize this before actually reaching the bottom, but some of us have had get there before realizing that we must trade our narcissistic idealism for a grander vision, where we are not the center of our own universe. This is the clash between the stubbornly naive and reality.

            I have been blind sided in the past by my own desire not to see the whole picture; choosing instead to look at only the part of which I was the center. This was not a result of some psychopathic character flaw, but rather the kind of naiveté that most people experience as they mature. The fact is that character is strengthened through adversity.

            Most profoundly for me has been my own fall from the relative intellectual safety of “orthodox” evangelicalism to a theology more embodied by the agnosticism of W.H. Auden in his poem “Friday's Child:”

He told us we were free to choose,

But children as we were we thought

Paternal love will only use,

Force in the last resort -

On those too bumptious to repent,

Accustomed to religious dread

It never crossed our minds he meant,

Exactly what he said -

Perhaps he frowns perhaps he grieves,

But it seems idle to discuss

Whether anger or compassion leaves,

The bigger bangs to us -

It might be jolly if we felt,

Awe at this universal man

When kings were local people knelt,

Some try to but who can -

The self observed observing mind,

We meet when we observe at all

is not alarming or unkind,

But utterly banal -

Though instruments at its command,

Make wish and counter wish come true

It clearly cannot understand,

What it can clearly do -

Since the analogies are rot,

Our senses based belief upon

We have no means of learning what,

Is really going on -

And must put up with having learned,

All proofs or disproof’s that we tender

Of his existence are returned,

Unopened to the sender -

Now did he really break the seal and rise,

Again we dare not say

But conscious unbelievers feel,

Quite sure of judgment day -

Meanwhile a silence on the cross,

As dead as we shall ever be

Speaks of some total gain or loss,

And you and I are free -

To guess from the insulted face,

Just what appearances he saves

By suffering in a public place,

A death reserved for slaves

--W.H. Auden[1]

Which has led me to where I find myself today, distanced from traditional theology in an ideological no mans land.

            So often as we get older we hedge our bets, our faith becomes couched in theology, it becomes more of an idea than an action; it becomes less “reckless” less exciting. My intent here is to point out that while theology has value, it is not theology which gives us the faith by which we live. I hope and pray that my faith becomes more and more reckless; that is I hope that my faith continues to compel me into action. “For Jesus, being and doing go hand in hand…. He was concerned with guiding the disciples who [had] made that radical decision as to how a life of radical obedience should be lived.”[2] It is “reckless faith” which puts people in a place where God can use them. I am still at the beginning of this road:

            In the spring semester of my junior year, having devoured the theological classes available to me in the Bachelor program for Biblical and Theological Studies at Gordon College, as well as every missions class taught by Paul Borthwick; I applied to do independent study the purpose of which, was to put myself under the tutelage of a pastor I had recently met, who was both planting a new church, but also experienced in counter-occult ministry and varying types of evangelism. I was accepted to this independent study for the fall of my senior year for 8 credits, and this was renewed again in my final semester at Gordon College.

While working with this ministry, I learned about alternative methods of evangelism. I saw those who would spit in a street preachers face because he represented the church they hated, become engaged as I shared the gospel with them, because I was kind to them, because I tried to fit in, and because I listened to what they had to say.  I saw firsthand the tension between the objective of church growth, and the reality of placing a new believer in a church body that met their needs, even if it wasn’t with us. My theological pursuits came into real use, as I was faced with the universality of the good news, and began a journey toward an understanding of grace.

I stayed with this organization as associate pastor for two more years following my graduation. During that time, I did a bit of soul searching about what my calling looked like in practice. At the time I recognized that one of the flaws in the system of going to college, seminary and then into fulltime pastoral work, is that of having a lack of real life experience. It is one thing to have the answer to life’s questions as they stem from the outcome of experience, it is quite another to provide those answers impertinently.[3] I embarked on a mission of gaining experience, being bi-vocational, and using my gifts and calling wherever I was.

I’ve worked in some strange places, and met some really interesting people. I hope I’ve touched their lives, I know that they’ve touched mine. We have this notion of ministering as condescension; that in order to minister, one must be a step ahead. The truth is everyone has something of equal value to offer: a glimpse of the image of God in them.

---

[1] Auden, W.H. “Friday’s Child (In memory of Deitrich Bonhoeffer, Martyred at Flossenburg, April 9^th, 1945),” Selected Poems, Edward Mendelson editor, (New York; Vintage International, 1989) p.237-239

[2] Robert H. Stein, Jesus the Messiah; A Survey of the Life of Christ, (Downers Grove, Ill.: Intervarsity Press, 1996) p.138

[3] Bonhoeffer, Dietrich, The Cost of Discipleship, (New York, NY.: Simon and Schuster 1995) p.51